Jan 12
22
Poly Living 2012 Schedule
Philadelphia, PA
Preliminary Schedule
Friday
February 10
4 PM – 7:00 PM
Check in and Registration -
Registration and check-Come to the registration desk; pick up your Conference Package/schedule, name badge and get yourselves all checked in. We advise all people to get checked in first, then head out to grab some dinner before the evening’s festivities.
5:00pm to 7:00pm Special optional presentation
Welcoming the Sabbath/Entering Sacred Space (and Veggie Pot Luck)
In the Jewish tradition Friday night is the beginning of sacred/transformed time. Similarly entering into Poly Living is also a time of transformed consciousness. Participants are invited to participate in a ritual to enter into that sacred space, based on the Kabbalistic ritual to entering the Sabbath. All beliefs welcome. (Location TBA at registration table) After the ritual we will share a vegetarian meal of celebration.
~~~~~~~~~
7:00 PM – 11:00 PM
Welcome Announcements
This is our time to welcome you to the weekend. This is the must see time of the weekend, where you will get to meet the presenters, find out important weekend information and enjoy a fabulous keynote address by Alan M. of Polyamory in the News Website. This will also be the time for you to listen from the latest news about Polyamory, Loving More and hear from other key people in our community. So sit back, enjoy our discussion, and experience a chance to mingle with other polyamorous people at the receptions immediately following the Keynote.
KEYNOTE
Alan M of Polyamory in the News Website
Busting Loose: Polyamory in the Next Five Years
We may be in for quite a ride. Public awareness of polyamory — that this mind-bending thing exists, and that people are actually succeeding at it — has spread far in the last two decades. Now the pace may be accelerating. Our ideas are increasingly grabbing public attention, we’re in growing demand by the media, and we keep waiting for an organized backlash that never quite happens. What’s coming next? And looking much farther out, Alan presents provocative ideas on what the things we’re doing may mean for civilization generally.
RECEPTION
Join us after the Keynote and announcements at the reception. A chance to mix and mingle, listen to good music and relax. Cash bar and live entertainment…
Saturday
February 11
~~~~~~~~~
9:00 AM – 10:30 AM – Session 1
~~~~~~~~~
What to Expect when Exploring Polyamory
Jesus Garcia and Robyn Trask
You’ve seen the headlines “Polyamory; The Next Romantic Revolution?” and it sounds intriguing or you’re ready to jump in and see how the water is. This workshop is designed to answer questions about the ins and outs of polyamory relating, tips for navigating and advice on the rewards and pitfalls you might expect when learning to relate romantically and sexually to more than one person. We will discuss some common misconceptions, needed skills and the importance of building good communication and trust. We will cover language, different relationship configurations, safer sex and the possible choices in relationships and styles of polyamory. This class is meant as an introduction and guideline for those interested in learning more, are new to poly and/or looking to explore polyamory.
Exploring Our Differences
Michael Rios and Sarah Taub
Experiential workshop based on human spectrum using the “allies” game (step into the circle), millings, and other transparency techniques. In a very supportive context, participants identify important things about themselves, see how that is similar or different from the others present, and then explore those parts of themselves using various exercises and methods.
Attendee Open Forum
Is there a subject of interest not on the schedule? The open forum is designed to give attendees the chance to add what they want to the schedule. Create a workshop on the fly, lead a discussion and have fun. The sign up for open forum creating will be at the registration table. Workshops must be polyamorous and/or relationship relevant and are subject to staff approval. Be creative and have fun.
~~~~~~~~~
10:45 AM- 12:15 PM - Session 2
~~~~~~~~~
Creating & Living in Shared Housing
Alan S
Over the last 15 years the presenter has acquired, renovated and occupied 4 adjoining houses in which he and his wife also rent out housing to others, choosing to live in self created intentional community, rather than suburban isolation.
Through these experiences, they have learned a lot about creating & sustaining community, while gaining a diverse education & skill set that spans many topics such as real estate acquisition, community activism through dealing with zoning laws / local housing ordinances, finding & selecting appropriate community members, resolving household personality conflicts, dealing unexpected health & safety concerns that arise when living with larger groups of people, modifying living space to better accommodate community living and, of course, making it all work financially. He is a true believer in the many benefits of living in community and, with his wife, has also had to integrate these complexities within their own open poly marriage. Join us to discuss the nuts and bolts of building community & living with others as we also explore how it relates to polyamory.
Bisexuality in the Media
Jenée Wilde
Mass culture images can play a prominent role in the shaping how people perceive alternative sexualities. Because fluid sexualities defy cultural expectations for monosexuality, bisexuals are frequently erased from media visibility or, conversely, represented as promiscuous, indecisive, duplicitous, confused, or as closeted gay or straight. In this participatory workshop, popular culture scholar Jenée Wilde reviews some of the challenges of portraying bisexuality and non-monogamy in mass media. How do these images reveal the limits of what culture can perceive as “real” sexual identities? What roles do gender and other markers of identity play in our perceptions of fluid sexuality? What effects can these images have on how others see us—and on how we see ourselves? Through brief exercises and roundtable discussion, workshop attendees will generate ideas about what works—or doesn’t work—and why, in our received images of bisexuality in culture.
Performing Polyamory by Tantra Theater
Kamala Devi
Calling all Deviant Divas! Non-monogamy is grossly under-represented in the media. As a subculture, we need visibility! Kamala Devi is a poly performance artist who offers an interactive playshop with performance art by The San Diego Tantra Theater Troupe. We are a collective of teachers, healers, performance artists and most importantly, lovers who are not afraid to express our sacred sexuality onstage. Enjoy Comedy, personal narrative, improv and dance. How willing are you willing to represent your community? Living out loud requires creativity, skill and direction, Kamala Devi will role model the vulnerable process of performing with multiple lovers, and answer questions on how to write/direct/produce your own shows!!! This is an interactive Performance Art workshop. www.tantratheater.tv
Attendee Open Forum
Attendee Facilitated – Topic TBA
~~~~~~~~~
12:15 PM – 2:00 PM
Break for LUNCH
**Details available during registration**
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2:15 PM – 3:45 PM - Session 3
~~~~~~~~~
Communication and Relationships
Richard Prescott
All relationships share a common need: communication. Learn some of the pitfalls of poor communication as well as some of the tips for improving your relationship communication skills! Clear communication can also improve your ability to “find your own voice.” Finding your own Voice is at the very root of a happier life!
Collaborating to Resolve Poly Lifestyle Challenges: What We can learn from LGTBQA community
Carol Morotti-Meeker, MS,MLSP
Experiencing challenges while living some form of polyamory is a part of the experience. Hear about what attorneys, financial consultants, therapists/coaches and accountants suggested as viable solutions to situations various alternative families find themselves at a recent New York conference. Carol will tailor the presentation and discussion among the participants to issues important to those present. Relationships with anyone ( your lover’s children, extended family, employers) money, health care, taxes and how to finance the life you love or want to have will be material for discussion. Come bring your experience and questions to this informative presentation. Learn how others have and are dealing with your situation and how their efforts are working out.
The Joys of RelationDancing
Ben Silver and Robyn Trask
Embracing movement, dance, music with lessons in boundaries we will seek to explore what we can learn through dancing with others. This fun workshop is designed to explore free movement, subtle communication through touch, eye contact with an emphasis on respecting others boundaries, knowing our own boundaries and what we want.
Attendee Open Forum
Attendee Facilitated – Topic TBA
~~~~~~~~~
4:00 PM – 5:30 PM – Session 4
~~~~~~~~~
The Politics of Sexual Oppression
Jill McDevitt, M.Ed.
From the man who was arrested for walking around his own house naked, to the woman jailed for wearing a t-shirt that says “I have the pussy so I make the rules”, Jill leads a discussion on rampant American sexual oppression, highlighting the laws, the politics, and the psychology of oppression as it relates to sex. Reflecting on her own experiences of being a victim of sexual oppression after being sued by a Catholic church in an attempt to have her sex-positive sex shop and education center closed, Jill encourages the audience to reflect on their own sexual oppression while examining the ways in which they may also be the oppressor.
Define Your Relationships and Live Your Dream
Anita Wagner
The times, they are a’changing, as Bob Dylan once sang. At no time in the history of western culture have people demonstrated a greater desire to live their lives and shape their relationships on their own terms. This does not mean, however, that tradition is no longer valued. Many of us still prefer to incorporate aspects of tradition into our lives and our relationships. Yet so many of us also highly value personal autonomy, i.e. the right to self-determination. As we consider our options and the pros and cons of each, common questions include: Is monogamy for us? If so, why? What are the benefits, and how will we handle the challenges? Would we prefer to incorporate others into our intimate lives? If so, what would that look like? Do we want both emotional *and* sexual nonmonogamy, i.e. polyamory? If so, how do we decide who is an appropriate addition to the family and who isn’t? Do we want emotional monogamy but sexual nonmonogamy/swinging? If so, what sexual practices and potential partners are OK? What and who are not? Do we want to create a leather family, and if so, will our family relationships be sexual? Is romantic love permitted? Or do we want emotional and sexual monogamy that still permits us to engage in BDSM activities with others? If so, what would *that* look like?
Awakening our Sensuality
Claudia Lanigan
Using therapeutic essential oils, Tantric breath techniques, and touch to awaken our senses and our sensual nature. In this fun hands-on workshop we will be working in groups of three to four, learning to connect energetically, intimately and sensually.
Attendee Open Forum
Attendee Facilitated – Topic TBA
~~~~~~~~~
8:00 PM – 11:00 PM
Saturday Evening Extras
~~~~~~~~~
Saturday night is all up to you. Go out to dinner, form a party, hang out in the Poly Lounge or attend one of the fun evening offerings. Some offering have a small fee.
~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~
SACRED SNUGGLE PARTY
Kamala Devi
A SACRED SNUGGLE PARTY is a sweet sensual event where we create a safe space to flirt, touch, massage, run Tantric energy, play, laugh, cry, and share intimacy, vulnerability or whatever else spontaneously arises. After a number of fun icebreakers, it becomes a drug and alcohol-free play party where we can relax and connect with like-minded people. Singles, couples, triads, pods, and celibates of any race, or experience level are welcome. All sexual orientations are celebrated. This is a fun laboratory to practice expressing what feels good and what doesn’t, asking to get your needs met, setting boundaries, and perhaps even overcoming competition, envy and rejection! The evening event will close with a sacred ritual in which each player shares their most valuable lesson. $15 suggested donation.
~~~~~~~~~
Movie – Title TBA
~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~
Sunday
February 12
9:00 AM – 10:30 AM – Session 5
~~~~~~~~~
When Worlds Collide: Managing Relations Between Non-Involved Significant Others
Jim Fleckenstien
One aspect of poly living that is important to navigate is how one’s non-involved partner’s get along. What can or should be done about that. This talk will help participants understand the ways these interactions take shape, identify areas where challenges occur and explore the best practices for assuring a smooth functioning poly relationship for everyone touched by the relationship.
Sexuality and Aging
Ken Haslam, Jens Wennberg, and Nancy Miller
Nobody ever believed that “Old People” had sex! Now as we age, we find that our sexuality continues. This is another topic our parents never told us about!! Hot sex, loving sex does not have to end as we age!! But there are changes. What are the issues of positive sexuality, as we grow older? We have found that the spiritual and emotional parts have become stronger. The conveners will share their own experience of continuing sexuality into their 7th and 8th decades and invite other participants to share their stories too. Part of this workshop will be devoted to the men listening to the women discuss their issues; then reversing and the women listening to the men discuss their issues. This workshop will be co-convened by three Poly Geezers.
Transformation of Traditionally Monogamous Relationship through Polyamory
Stefanie Fulwood
When we choose to expand a traditional monogamous relationship to embrace polyamory, we face transformations in stability, communication, emotions and other areas. The traditional relationship must change and grow with its participants. Please join us for a facilitated discussion on the challenges faced and tools for not just weathering transformation, but engaging in it joyfully.
Attendee Open Forum
Attendee Facilitated – Topic TBA
~~~~~~~~~
10:45 AM – 12:15 PM – Session 6
~~~~~~~~~
Building a Sex-Positive Culture
Sarah Taub and Michael Rios
Building a Sex-Positive Culture – A “sex-positive” perspective sees all consensual sexual activities as fundamentally good and healthy. Join us as we explore the foundations of creating a sex-positive culture, including eliminating the sex-negative voices in our heads; creating supportive sex-positive places, events, and community; finding new spiritual frames that see sexuality as sacred and good; and sharing skills and practices that make sex-positivity easy and natural.
The Art of Long Distance Relationships
Robyn Trask and Jesus Garcia
Many of us are maintaining relationships over a long distance and/or a long time. This will be a discussion on all aspects of LDRs, touching on tools like IM, Skype, and the phone; travel issues between states and between the US and Canada; people’s differing needs and love languages. What are the common challenges and solutions to maintaining long term, long distance relationships?
Attendee Open Forum
Attendee Facilitated – Topic TBA
~~~~~~~~~
12:30 AM – 1:15 PM
~~~~~~~~~
Closing Circle
*Workshops and presenters subject to change. The schedule is listed just to be a general guideline and presentations can and often do get moved around last minute.
Posted in Loving More Updates Poly Living Polyamory Events by .
Cover Loving More Magazine 2005
The meaning of the word “polyamory” has been debated since the moment of–or perhaps before!–its entry into the standard English-speaking lexicon in the early 1990′s: Polyamory vs. Swinging; Polyamory vs. Cheating; is Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell Polyamory or not? All of these have been discussed nearly innumerable times on lists across the US and in some cases internationally. As a relatively new movement, gaining more and more exposure through broadcast media, news casting, and the internet, the debate has only been increasing in intensity, as “we”–whoever we are–struggle to understand ourselves, to help others to understand us, and to create a culture to support this new/old relationship paradigm.
Last month on one of the lists I participate in, quite a few poly organizers and leaders had a particularly “spirited” debate on this topic. In amongst a torrent of words from a lot of thoughtful people, I wrote something I thought might be helpful to share.
One thing I’ve noticed is that whenever you define something, it creates a space where something is IN, and other things are OUT. A lot of folks seem uncomfortable with this necessity, preferring as inclusive an umbrella as possible; the “Big Tent” of non-monogamous relationships, if you will. However, it isn’t possible to have a definition that includes everything; that’s useless. The important point in my opinion is where we focus our attention. As others have said, we want to create our definitions and spaces through defining what we are, not what we are not. We can let other people decide whether they fit the definition we’re promoting, at the same time we continue to repeat our message of what we are.
I was particularly appreciative of Matthew Bobbu’s post in that thread [on the PLN list, Nov. 10, 2011], and I’d like to repeat a bit of it here:
“I define polyamory as ‘the belief in and/or practice of multiple loving relationships, with the full knowledge and consent of those involved.’ I don’t define the sort of relationship anyone has to have, how they have to structure their relationships, what kind of sex they can have, or what sort of love need be involved. For me, to do otherwise will strengthen the cause of a vocal minority at the expense of the quieter majority, who may not even realize that we’re fighting for their freedoms too.
Much as Martin Luther King didn’t fight for black rights, he fought for racial equality; I don’t fight for poly rights, I fight for the freedom to participate in any consensual relationship one might wish to – with the exclusion of none.”
Thanks, Matthew. *Raises glass.*
That’s the definition of polyamory I use as well. The key points are:
• Multiple
• Loving
• Relationships (of the romantic adult human variety)
• Full knowledge (aka open/honest)
• Consent of all
If it isn’t those things, it isn’t polyamory. If it is those things, it is. Swinging can be polyamory, therefore, but cheating cannot. One night stands could be polyamory if they meet all of those criteria. So can long term committed polyfidelitous triads, or newly established tribes. True lifelong monogamy is not polyamory, because it fails on “multiple.” Serial monogamy might be, depending on the other factors. Gay non-monogamy arrangements could be polyamorous, but anonymous bathhouse sex in particular isn’t (not a “relationship.”) A sexless marriage that includes other partners could still be polyamory, even if no one ever has sex. Tiger Woods’ outside relationships weren’t polyamorous, because his wife didn’t consent. To take an extreme example, gang rape is not polyamory even though it involves multiple people, because it isn’t loving OR consensual. And in my opinion, both the common “slippery slope” argument of bestiality and the specter of child abuse can easily be eliminated as potentially “polyamorous” because neither animals nor children are able to consent. However, if beating more than one person with a flogger is everyone’s idea of loving, and everyone consents, then that can be polyamory, too. Intimate networks and open marriages can definitely be called polyamorous, if that’s what the people involved want to call their relationships.
This definition doesn’t talk about sex. It doesn’t not talk about it either. It just focuses our conversation on the salient points, in my opinion. We don’t need to say what polyamory isn’t. We just need to say what it is.
Polyamory = poly (derived from the Greek for ‘many’) + amory (derived from the Latin for ‘love’)
In other words, Polyamory is the belief in and/or practice of multiple loving relationships, with the full knowledge and consent of those involved.
Proud to be polyamorous, ~♥ Dawn
Safe Sex
Annual testing for STIs (sexually transmitted infection) is something I believe every sexually active person should do for their health, not just for people who are in some form of open relationship but anyone sexually active. It is part of being safe and sane with our own health. Unfortunately testing can often be source of shame and negativity for women and men seeking testing.
For several years I chose to go to the Boulder Women’s clinic, a seemingly progressive place in a progressive town. I am a mother of three children, have been sexually active from a young age and while not always safe from STIs when I was younger ( before HIV awareness) I obtained birth control as soon as I became sexually active. Later, after HIV, I used condoms in addition to birth control. I now regularly educate people on safer sex, awareness of STIs, how to talk about sex and safe sex. Despite this and the fact that I am an adult in my forties, every year at the clinic it was the same, “Annual testing is not necessary unless you practice high risk behavior” or “Why do you need testing, does your partner have something?” And on occasion I was told that I only really needed was an HIV test unless I had symptoms.
I would explain that I am polyamorous, have three partners and that part of being safe for all of us was annual testing (more if we have a condom break or some other concern). That I wanted testing for several things that I, and my partners, feel are needed. This explanation would be met with a concerned look, disapproving head shake, a lecture about how having multiple partners was “unsafe, high risk sexual behavior” and the implication that having more than one lover was wrong. I would explain, “Yes, I understand the risks, this is my choice, this is why I get tested,” etc and “please just give the fucking test.” Every year it felt like a fight to get testing done, from a supposedly progressive women’s clinic in Boulder Colorado. I put up with the judgment and the feeling that the doctors and nurses were looking at me as the sex crazed slut because I don’t care what they think .Finding a new Dr/clinic is a pain and this clinic was better than others I has dealt with. In 2006 the clinic stopped doing testing for HIV and I found another place for testing with essentially the same game in play.
I have heard many stories from other women and a few men of the medical personnel heaping on shame and judgment when a person needs testing and even when needed medical attention requires a medical history. Many folks are much are very challenged by all the hostile treatment and judgment.. This conduct is disrespectful and demeaning. Our sexual behavior is categorized as “high risk sex.” The terminology itself is somewhat shaming. When I travel to certain parts of Mexico they recommend caution due to malaria but they never say “high risk” travel. Disease is part of the human condition; it is why we have an immune system. We can catch a cold or flu by shaking a hand, hugging someone or going to the grocery store but we do not categorize hand shaking as “high risk” behavior nor do we question why someone needs cold medicine or a strep test. Sending my kids to school puts them at a significant increased risk of catching a virus or bacterial infection, some that can be very deadly, yet no one recommends keeping kids away from school.
This adversarial treatment and sex negative attitude contributes to an atmosphere that makes testing at best unpleasant and at times humiliating. How many people forgo testing because of these challenges and the perceived shame? This negative atmosphere has, I believe, contributed to the spread of STIs especially among senior citizens and teens. Many people are afraid to get tested, afraid to be judged and want to avoid the grilling by health care practitioners that invade privacy and undermine personal choice. Education of health personnel can help as well as lists of truly sex positive providers, however overcoming the puritanical conditioning in our society is not easy.
When it comes to sex, abstinence is the only true safe route and because our society is so sex negative many people really believe abstinence is the answer. To me this is as ludicrous as never allowing my kids go or play outside; abstaining from sex is not healthy anymore than staying home all the time is. We do not shame people because they catch a cold, flu or strep throat, so why is it ok to shame people when something is spread sexually?. Infections happen when we have contact with other humans, animals or even inanimate objects. Many STIs are preventable with condoms but not 100% and we all may face an infection from sexual contact at various points in our lives. Some infections can be annoying and mild and others life threatening. Either way people need to be given the same consideration they would if they contracted malaria, strep throat or West Nile virus rather than stigmatized and looked down on.
Most important than how others treat us is how we treat ourselves and each other when we find we are facing an STI. Our own attitude is often of key importance. It is essential to be informed, be safe, be aware of your partners as well as your own vulnerability and use protection but don’t forget to be kind to yourself and others who find themselves facing an STI. It is part of being human, we catch disease, and there is no need to beat ourselves up or feel ashamed for getting an infection from sex any more than we would if we caught a cold from shaking hands with a friend.
As for testing, it can not only save your life by allowing you to get appropriate treatment if you have something, it can save your partner’s life and well being. It would be nice to always have informed and sex positive health care professionals but the reality is we deal with a lot of ignorance and misinformation. For now I grin and bare it while doing my best to educate professionals. Change needs to happen but only can through awareness. It is vital for people, polyamorous or not, to have access to STI testing without harassment and my hope is that through sex positive awareness and communication we can make it safe for people to get help.
Resources:
The following are resources for information and testing for STD/STIs
Center for Disease Control Website – Statistical information on STIs and prevention.
Planned Parenthood – Good source of information as well as confidential testing.
Anonymous and Affordable STD Testing – Testing service; they order the tests and set you up to go directly to a lab. Low cost and anonymous which means it does not go on your medical record that you were tested. Law requires reporting to the CDC with certain infections if you test positive.
Posted in Poly Sexuality Polyamory Polyamory 101 Polyamory Articles by .
Jan 12
6
Presentations Poly Living 2012
Presentation List Poly Living*
February 10-12, 2012
*This list is tentative and subject to change.
Friday Evening Keynote
Busting Loose: Polyamory in the Next Five Years
Alan M. of Polyamory in the News Website
We may be in for quite a ride. Public awareness of polyamory — that this mind-bending thing exists, and that people are actually succeeding at it — has spread far in the last two decades. Now the pace may be accelerating. Our ideas are increasingly grabbing public attention, we’re in growing demand by the media, and we keep waiting for an organized backlash that never quite happens. What’s coming next? And looking much farther out, Alan presents provocative ideas on what the things we’re doing may mean for civilization generally.
Workshops ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What to Expect when Exploring Polyamory
Jesus Garcia and Robyn Trask
You’ve seen the headlines “Polyamory; The Next Romantic Revolution?” and it sounds intriguing or you’re ready to jump in and see how the water is. This workshop is designed to answer questions about the ins and outs of polyamory relating, tips for navigating and advice on the rewards and pitfalls you might expect when learning to relate romantically and sexually to more than one person. We will discuss some common misconceptions, needed skills and the importance of building good communication and trust. We will cover language, different relationship configurations, safer sex and the possible choices in relationships and styles of polyamory. This class is meant as an introduction and guideline for those interested in learning more, are new to poly and/or looking to explore polyamory.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Transformation of Traditionally Monogamous Relationship through Polyamory
Stefanie Fulwood
When we choose to expand a traditional monogamous relationship to embrace polyamory, we face transformations in stability, communication, emotions and other areas. The traditional relationship must change and grow with its participants. Please join us for a facilitated discussion on the challenges faced and tools for not just weathering transformation, but engaging in it joyfully.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Creating & Living in Shared Housing
Alan S
Over the last 15 years the presenter has acquired, renovated and occupied 4 adjoining houses in which he and his wife also rent out housing to others, choosing to live in self created intentional community, rather than suburban isolation. Through these experiences, they have learned a lot about creating & sustaining community, while gaining a diverse education & skill set that spans many topics such as real estate acquisition, community activism through dealing with zoning laws / local housing ordinances, finding & selecting appropriate community members, resolving household personality conflicts, dealing unexpected health & safety concerns that arise when living with larger groups of people, modifying living space to better accommodate community living and, of course, making it all work financially. He is a true believer in the many benefits of living in community and, with his wife, has also had to integrate these complexities within their own open poly marriage. Join us to discuss the nuts and bolts of building community & living with others as we also explore how it relates to polyamory. Facilitated Discussion
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Communication and Relationships
Richard Prescott
All relationships share a common need: communication. Learn some of the pitfalls of poor communication as well as some of the tips for improving your relationship communication skills! Clear communication can also improve your ability to “find your own voice.” Finding your own Voice is at the very root of a happier life!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Define Your Relationships and Live Your Dream
Anita Wagner
The times, they are a’changing, as Bob Dylan once sang. At no time in the history of western culture have people demonstrated a greater desire to live their lives and shape their relationships on their own terms. This does not mean, however, that tradition is no longer valued. Many of us still prefer to incorporate aspects of tradition into our lives and our relationships, yet so many of us also highly value personal autonomy, i.e. the right to self-determination. As we consider our options and the pros and cons of each, common questions include: Is monogamy for us? What are the benefits, and how will we handle the challenges? What would incorporating others into our intimate lives look like? Do we want both emotional *and* sexual non-monogamy, i.e. polyamory? How do we decide who is an appropriate addition to the family and who isn’t? Do we want 
emotional monogamy but sexual non-monogamy/swinging? What sexual practices and potential partners are OK? Do we want to create a leather family? Is romantic love permitted? Do we want emotional and sexual monogamy that still permits us to engage in BDSM activities with others? Do we (or do we not) value legal marriage? How do we want our marriage to be structured and how will it operate? What are we willing to commit to within the bounds of matrimony? How do religion and spirituality influence our decisions and preferences with regard to marriage? What is the value of non-legally binding commitment ceremonies and handfastings? Come join the discussion as we explore together the many, many ways in which we can define our relationships and live our dreams.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Art of Long Distance Relationships
Robyn Trask and Jesus Garcia
Many of us are maintaining relationships over a long distance and/or a long time. This will be a discussion on all aspects of LDRs, touching on tools like IM, Skype, and the phone; travel issues between states and between the US and Canada; people’s differing needs and love languages. What are the common challenges and solutions to maintaining long term, long distance relationships?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bisexuality in the Media
Jenée Wilde, PhD
Mass culture images can play a prominent role in the shaping how people perceive alternative sexualities. Because fluid sexualities defy cultural expectations for monosexuality, bisexuals are frequently erased from media visibility or, conversely, represented as promiscuous, indecisive, duplicitous, confused, or as closeted gay or straight. In this participatory workshop, popular culture scholar Jenée Wilde reviews some of the challenges of portraying bisexuality and non-monogamy in mass media. How do these images reveal the limits of what culture can perceive as “real” sexual identities? What roles do gender and other markers of identity play in our perceptions of fluid sexuality? What effects can these images have on how others see us—and on how we see ourselves? Through brief exercises and roundtable discussion, workshop attendees will generate ideas about what works—or doesn’t work—and why, in our received images of bisexuality in culture.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Worlds Collide: Managing Relations Between Non-Involved Significant Others
Jim Fleckenstien
One aspect of poly living that is important to navigate is how one’s non-involved partner’s get along. What can or should be done about that. This talk will help participants understand the ways these interactions take shape, identify areas where challenges occur and explore the best practices for assuring a smooth functioning poly relationship for everyone touched by the relationship.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Exploring Our Differences
Michael Rios and Sarah Taub
Who are you? Who am I? Who are we? In this high-energy, interactive workshop, we’ll find out more about the thoughts, feelings, and experiences of everyone present. We’ll explore curiosity and transparency as attitudes and practices that support healthy relationships, whether with lovers, friends, co-workers, or community members. Cultivating curiosity has two benefits. First, curiosity is incompatible with emotional reactivity – a person who is truly curious is unlikely to be deeply angry, unhappy, or afraid. Second, curiosity builds your working data set – it’s hard to figure out a win/win if you don’t know what the other(s) really want. Along the same lines, “transparency” means letting other people know what’s going on for you. If I have to try to guess what you want or need, I’m going to guess wrong a lot of the time! Being transparent helps provide the information we need to figure out good solutions for everyone. We’ll have some short, fun exercises where people can try out sharing about themselves transparently and asking questions based on curiosity. Everyone is always free to participate or not, as they desire. And we’ll also talk about how curiosity and transparency go along with other attitudes such as compassion, non-attachment, being “at choice”, personal power and responsibility to create a way of relating that many of us think is sustainable, healthy, and reasonably drama-free.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Collaborating to Resolve Poly Lifestyle Challenges: What We can learn from LGTBQA Community
Carol Morotti-Meeker, MS,MLSP
Experiencing challenges while living some form of polyamory is a part of the experience. Hear about what attorneys, financial consultants, therapists/coaches and accountants suggested as viable solutions to situations various alternative families find themselves at a recent New York conference. Carol will tailor the presentation and discussion among the participants to issues important to those present. Relationships with anyone ( your loves, children, extended family, employers) money, health care, taxes and how to finance the life you love or want to have will be material for discussion. Come bring your experience and questions to this informative presentation. Learn how others have and are dealing with your situation and how their efforts are working out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Joys of RelationDancing
Ben Silver and Robyn Trask
Embracing movement, dance, music with lessons in boundaries we will seek to explore what we can learn through dancing with others. This fun workshop is designed to explore free movement, subtle communication through touch, eye contact with an emphasis on respecting others boundaries, knowing our own boundaries and what we want.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sexuality and Aging:
Ken Haslam, Jens Wennberg, and Nancy Miller
Nobody ever believed that “Old People” had sex! Now as we age, we find that our sexuality continues. This is another topic our parents never told us about!! Hot sex, loving sex does not have to end as we age!! But there are changes. What are the issues of positive sexuality, as we grow older? We have found that the spiritual and emotional parts have become stronger. The conveners will share their own experience of continuing sexuality into their 7th and 8th decades and invite other participants to share their stories too. Part of this workshop will be devoted to the men listening to the women discuss their issues; then reversing and the women listening to the men discuss their issues. This workshop will be co-convened by three Poly Geezers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Performing Polyamory by Tantra Theater
Kamala Devi
Calling all Deviant Divas! Non-monogamy is grossly under-represented in the media. As a subculture, we need visibility! Kamala Devi is a poly performance artist who offers an interactive playshop with performance art by The San Diego Tantra Theater Troupe. We are a collective of teachers, healers, performance artists and most importantly, lovers who are not afraid to express our sacred sexuality onstage. Enjoy Comedy, personal narrative, improv and dance. How willing are you willing to represent your community? Living out loud requires creativity, skill and direction, Kamala Devi will role model the vulnerable process of performing with multiple lovers, and answer questions on how to write/direct/produce your own shows!!! This is an interactive Performance Art workshop. www.tantratheater.tv
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Building a Sex-Positive Culture
Michael Rios and Sarah Taub
Building a Sex-Positive Culture – A “sex-positive” perspective sees all consensual sexual activities as fundamentally good and healthy. Join us as we explore the foundations of creating a sex-positive culture, including eliminating the sex-negative voices in our heads; creating supportive sex-positive places, events, and community; finding new spiritual frames that see sexuality as sacred and good; and sharing skills and practices that make sex-positivity easy and natural.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Politics of Sexual Oppression
Jill McDevitt, M.Ed.
From the man who was arrested for walking around his own house naked, to the woman jailed for wearing a t-shirt that says “I have the pussy so I make the rules”, Jill leads a discussion on rampant American sexual oppression, highlighting the laws, the politics, and the psychology of oppression as it relates to sex. Reflecting on her own experiences of being a victim of sexual oppression after being sued by a Catholic church in an attempt to have her sex-positive sex shop and education center closed, Jill encourages the audience to reflect on their own sexual oppression while examining the ways in which they may also be the oppressor.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Awakening our Sensuality
Claudia Lanigan
Using therapeutic essential oils, Tantric breath techniques, and touch to awaken our senses and our sensual nature. In this fun hands-on workshop we will be working in groups of three to four, learning to connect energetically, intimately and sensually.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Saturday Evening Extras
Sacred Snuggle Party
Kamala Devi
A SACRED SNUGGLE PARTY is a sweet sensual event where we create a safe space to flirt, touch, massage, run Tantric energy, play, laugh, cry, and share intimacy, vulnerability or whatever else spontaneously arises. After a number of fun icebreakers, it becomes a drug and alcohol-free play party where we can relax and connect with like-minded people. Singles, couples, triads, pods, and celibates of any race, or experience level are welcome. All sexual orientations are celebrated. This is a fun laboratory to practice expressing what feels good and what doesn’t, asking to get your needs met, setting boundaries, and perhaps even overcoming competition, envy and rejection! The evening event will close with a sacred ritual in which each player shares their most valuable lesson.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Movie – Title to be announced.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Presenter Bios Page
Posted in Loving More Updates Poly Living Polyamory Polyamory Events by .
Keynote
Alan M. of Polyamory in the News Website
Alan first discovered group love and devotion at age 17. He has run the Polyamory in the News site (polyinthemedia.blogspot.com) since 2005. Here he has tracked trends among more than 1,000 articles, TV shows, radio interviews, and other places where the world is paying us attention. He’s on the membership committee of the Polyamory Leadership Network, is a Loving More regular (and supporter), and has appeared at Poly Pride Weekend in New York, Atlanta Poly Weekend in Georgia, and Transcending Boundaries in Massachusetts. He calls himself a poly-mono switch, having lived long stretches of his life happily each way. The farther out he looks at our movement for relationship choice, the more interesting he thinks it may become. http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Presenters
Alan S
Alan is one half of a happily married, long term, Polyamorous couple. He and his wife have been together, in one form or another, for over 15 years, cautiously dipping their toes into the pool of alternative relationship models and sexuality, from the beginning. He organizes & hosts the “Phila. Polyamory and Open Relationship Discussion Group” and is also a founding member / co-organizer of the “Phila Mindful Polyamory Meetup,” Both organizations are polyamory education & social groups, which meet regularly and have a combined membership of over 500 people. Throughout the last five years, Alan has hosted many polyamory events and facilitated numerous workshops & discussions, both within the Polyamory & Burning Man Communities, as well as at Drexel University. He currently lives with his wife, in “tribe” within a diverse, self created, economically sustainable, emotionally supportive, relatively organic, intentional community setting which they also own & manage.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anita Wagner
Anita Wagner is an alternative relationships coach, blogger, spokesperson, educator, and sexual freedom activist. She has lived a polyamorous life for 15 years and has just embarked on a new adventure with her partner of six years, legal non-monogamous marriage. Anita has presented educational programs on relationship skills at FetFest, Good Vibrations, Sex 2.0, Dark Odyssey, Transcending Boundaries, MomentumCon, Southeast Leather Fest, Poly Living, The Floating World, Black Rose, Loving More® Retreat, Primal Arts Festival, Free Spirit Alliances’ Beltane Gathering and Fires of Venus, Florida Poly Retreat, and Washington Area Secular Humanists. Anita is a faculty member at kinkacademy.com, a member of the Polyamory Leadership Network and serves as poly community advisor to CARAS. Her practicalpolyamory.com website and blog is one of the foremost resources for those seeking information on self-defining their relationships and living their love life on their own terms.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ann Tweedy
Ann Tweedy is bisexual law professor and poet. She currently teaches at Hamline University School of Law in St. Paul, Minnesota. Her scholarship focuses on federal Indian law, tribal law, and sexuality and law, and she is currently teaching a course in Gender, Sexuality, and Law. She grew up in Massachusetts and practiced law in Washington State before moving to St. Paul to teach at Hamline.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ben Silver
Ben is a singer, musician and poly and bi activist who has been in an open primary relationship for 26 years. He and his partner started a support group for committed non-monogamous relationships in the ‘80s which met monthly for over 15 years. As a performer, Ben’s music slides through folk, R&B, funk, jazz and back again; he sings about freedom, the environment, LBGT issues, parenting and love. His writing has been published in “Carry it On,” ”Sing Out” magazine and the book “Hearing Everyone’s Voice.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Carol Morotti-Meeker, MS,MLSP
Carol is a social scientist and clinical professional in practice near Philadelphia, PA with people involved in polyamorous and other alternative loving styles. She is involved in serving on national poly boards and a co-editor of a guide to polyamory for therapists through NCSF.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Claudia Lanigan
Claudia Lanigan is trained in numerous healing modalities; she has a passion for healing and helping people. Claudia combines powerful tools of Theta Healing, nurturing touch, massage and Young Living essential oils creating a holistic approach to health and wellness. She believes that it is not enough to offer therapeutic healing, rather that it is essential for people to involve themselves in their own process of healing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jenée Wilde, Ph.D.
Jenée Wilde is an English PhD student and Graduate Teaching Fellow at the University of Oregon researching issues of gender and sexuality in media and literature. She is also the founder and co-director of the Queering Academic Studies research group at the UO Center for the Study of Women and Society. Jenée is currently conducting fieldwork on bisexual identity and is seeking participants for her research; she can be contacted at jenee@uoregon.edu.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jens Wennberg
Jens Wennberg is a poly geezer! He is a supposedly retired Physician Assistant. He and his wife/partner have had a responsible non-monogamous relationship for 33 years, and each have long-term relationships lasting over a decade
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jesus Garcia
Jesus is a native of the San Francisco Bay area who began exploring alternatives to monogamy in 2004. In 2005 he attended his first Loving More Retreat. In September 2006 he was invited to join Loving More’s Board of Directors. He has worked at raising money for many worthy causes and has been a great help as Loving More makes it’s transition to non-profit. He has worked in the computer information technology field since 1995. In college he majored in Biology and Psychology with an emphasis on bio-psychology.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jill McDevitt, M.Ed.
Jill McDevitt is a sexologist, feminist sex shop owner, sex educator, public speaker, entertainer, blogger, author, sexual rights advocate- and only 26 years old! Jill has her B.A. in Sexuality, Marriage, and Family, her M.Ed. in Human Sexuality, and upon completion of her Ph.D. in Human Sexuality Education in spring 2013, she will be the only person in the world with all three of their degrees in sex! You can find her at www.thesexologist.org.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jim Fleckenstein
Jim Fleckenstein is co-founder of the Institute for 21st Century Relationships, now the Foundation of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF). A founder and former board chair of the Chesapeake Polyamory Network, he has been a polyamory and open lifestyles activist since 1998, has spoken extensively, including several Poly Living conferences and at Poly Pride in New York City, and has been interviewed on TV and radio. He holds a bachelor’s degree with honors in Mass Communications and Politics and Public Affairs (double major) from the University of Miami, and is pursuing a Master of Public Health degree at the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. He is a member of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT), and the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality (SSSS). A recognized expert on polyamory, Jim has been chosen to present on poly-related topics at multiple AASECT and SSSS conferences, and was invited to author the Polyamory section of the U.S. chapter of the Continuum Complete International Encyclopedia of Sexuality. He is a member of the NCSF Board, and served as co-editor of the 2009 booklet What Psychology Professionals Should Know About Polyamory. He is currently collaborating with Dr. Curtis Bergstrand on research into the polyamorous community, and analysis of the 2000 Loving More survey.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kamala Devi
Kamala Devi is an author and coach specializing in sacred sex and polyamory. She wrote Don’t Drink the Punch and Sacred Sexual Healingwith Baba Dez Nichols as well as numerous stage plays and DVD, Earning your BLACKBELT in Relationship with REiD Mihalko. She’s appeared on the Tyra Banks Show, Discovery Channel, Morning Show Live, Inside Edition, MTV’s True Life, Sex Magic: Manifesting Maya and other documentaries about relationship and sexuality. She’s been successfully navigating an open tantric marriage for the last 10 years and currently lives in San Diego with her poly pod and son. www.Blisscoach.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ken Haslem
Ken Haslem is a retired anesthesiologist and Polyamory Activist. He recently established the Kenneth R. Haslem Polyamory Collection at the Kinsey Institute of Indiana University. He has presented lectures, sermons, and workshops on polyamory, aging and sexuality at various conferences.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Michael Rios
Michael Rios has been creating and living alternative lifestyles and personal growth experiences for 40 years. His favorite social organization principles include guerrilla capitalism and responsible anarchy. He regularly organizes “New Culture” events aimed at creating a culture based on awareness, compassion and freedom rather than on fear and judgment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nancy Miller
Nancy Miller is a nurse midwife with years of professional and personal experience with women’s changing sexuality as they mature. Her own experience is that overall sex has gotten better over the years. We can “use it and not lose it” even as our bodies change. Her current career passion is international work especially involving Prevention of Mother to Child Transmission of HIV.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Richard Prescott
A recovering drug addict and alcoholic for the past 24 years, Richard believes that talking on an intimate level and learning about yourself are the keys to living a “Full and Rich” life. He has found his niche offering relationship coaching and personal guidance to those who seek to live more. He is currently writing a series of books on living better. http://www.meetup.com/phillypoly/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Robert McGarey, M.A.
Robert McGarey, M.A., has a contagious love for life and a quirky sense of humor. He has been leading personal growth groups for thirty years, and has been poly for more than twenty five. He has served as the Roving Poly Counselor at five Loving More Conferences. He’s founder and director of the nonprofit Human Potential Center in Austin, Texas, and is the author of the Poly Communication Survival Kit. Contact him by emailing Bob@HumanPotentialCenter.org, calling (512) 441-8988, or visiting www.HumanPotentialCenter.org/Poly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Robyn Trask
Robyn is the Executive Director and Editor of Loving More Non-Profit and Magazine since October 2004. She has been openly polyamorous for 21 years, a mom for 23 years. Robyn has been running poly support groups, teaching and facilitating relationship and sexuality workshop since 1999. She has done numerous interviews on polyamory for radio, television, newspapers and magazines articles including features in the Denver Post, the Hartford Current, Mom Logic, Boulder Dailey Camera, Baisden After Dark on TV One, the Montel Show and Christian Broadcast Network on the 700 Club. Robyn has worked with the media to bring awareness of polyamory as a viable alternative in today’s changing styles of love relationships. She was the Keynote for the Florida Poly Retreat in 2007, featured speaker at Poly Pride in 2006, 2007 and 2008, presented at the 2006 and 2007 Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality Western Conference, has done guest lectures at CU Boulder and Denver University. Robyn has dedicated the past five years of her life working as a full time volunteer for Loving More and the Polyamory Movement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sarah Taub
Sarah Taub uses her training in cognitive science, group facilitation, and transformative practices such as co-counseling and Nonviolent Communication to create powerful experiences for human healing and growth. Her current koan: only when you let go of urgency can you be truly effective. She regularly organizes “New Culture” events aimed at creating a culture based on love and freedom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stefanie Fulwood
Stefanie has been a practicing polyamorist for over 10 years and brings with her the experience of loving in multiple relationships. She has been a leader in community organizations and has recently dedicated her efforts to support and educate those who find themselves drawn to polyamory through the Philadelphia Mindful Polyamory Meetup Group. http://www.meetup.com/phillypoly/
*This list is tentative and subject to change.
Posted in Loving More Updates Poly Living Polyamory Events by .
Writers
- admin
(47) - Robyn Trask (40)
- Mystic Life (7)
- Valerie White (3)
- Dawn Davidson (2)
- Kamela Dolinova (1)
- admin
Facebook Status
: Poly Living was phenomenal. Thanks for joining us. It is all of you that make Poly Living the amazing event is each year.
(Mon Feb 7, 8:58 pm).