Archive for 'Relationships'

Redefining Faithfulness

By Mystic Life

I was recently asked, via my blog, to respond to the question I’ve listed below from a woman who was (like most of us) raised to be monogamous.

Upon reflection, I felt that my response may be helpful to readers who are still in the process of defining their values, or who perhaps have friends or family who try to challenge their choice to be polyamorous by stating it requires them to be “unfaithful” to their partner.

“Why is it ...

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Can You Be “Poly” and Date a Cheater?

By Mystic Life

Most polyamorous people are drawn to this lovestyle because of their distaste for cheating. But what about if you’re dating someone who is cheating on their partner? Perhaps you don’t even know their partner and are therefore not required to lie to (or withhold from) your lover’s lover. You might then be able to feel as though you’re an honest person with no inner-conflict because, ...

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Marriage, Primacy, and Control: What Rights Do We Have?

Several of the articles published here on PepTalk recently have treated the subject of relinquishing power over those we love.  It is a common refrain in polyamorous circles: possessiveness, control, and power-grasping are all harmful to the full expression of one’s love.

For my own part, I couldn’t agree more.  Yet at the same time, I find myself struggling at times with relationship definitions – and what expectations are associated with them.  It’s quite true, as Robyn writes in this ...

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Shifting The Monogamy Paradigm

By Robyn Trask
Reprinted from Loving More Magazine issue 35, Copyright 2005

One of the questions asked most frequently by polyamorous couples is “how do we make polyamory work for us while maintaining our relationship as a couple?”  The question is easy; the answer is at once both simple and complex:  You don’t!

Many people — myself included — are working to make their poly relationships viable and sustainable while using tools ...

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Polyamory Without Attachment To Form

By Mystic Life

I have learned that polyamory can be used to dissolve the ego, or enhance it.  Similar to how nuclear technology can be used to either power a city or destroy it, the poly path can be utilized to bring us closer to peace, or create endless suffering through multiple attachments.  In other words, we can let go of controlling others, or we can create multiple ...

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Real Polyamorous Families

The concept of polyamory is often misunderstood by the general public and the media. Tell someone you are polyamorous and it conjures images for the average person of swing parties and clubs with people getting it on in dark corners or polygamous families with men controlling unhappy sister wives and lots of children. These images perpetuated by Hollywood are not polyamory, nor do they even represent ...

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My 1st Exposure to Polyamory: The Witches of Eastwick

Back in college I went to a party with some friends who were visiting from out of town, and apparently one of the women at the party had noticed me. She called and asked if I’d like to go to a movie with her. I honestly had no recollection of who she was until we met, and it would turn out later that I actually liked her friend (a recurring theme for many years during my monogamous phase). The movie ...

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Is Marriage The Union We Want?

WeddingCoupleMarriage is a hot topic these days, from gay activists fighting for equality to the conservative right insisting marriage is the very foundation of civilization and allowing gay marriage is a sign of the destruction of society. Then there is the slippery slope argument that if we allow same sex marriage it will lead to legalized polygamy and “oh my god” polyamory. Not to mention people will ...

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Is the MFF Triad Poly-tically Incorrect?

by Mystic Life

I’ve been wondering if the best way to offend members of both the monogamous and polyamorous communities is to form (or be interested in forming) a MFF triad.

Several years ago, my girlfriend at the time and I were looking to meet someone who we both could love.  I’m straight, and my girlfriend was bi, so we decided that a bi woman would be a good fit.  As part of our search process, we created a profile on Polymatchmaker.com, ...

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Separated by the world; still bound by love

LoveActually soundtrack album cover~~~~~~~~~~~~

I could imagine tonight as one of those movies (you’ve probably seen more than one of them) where the action follows several different intertwined story lines, showing a bit here, and a bit there, till somewhere close to the end, they all merge together in one grand, sweeping finish filled with fortuitous plot twists and huge smiles and vast orchestras of singing ...

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