Poly Living 2010
Philadelphia, PA

**Preliminary Schedule**


Friday

February 19


Registration and Check-in

4 PM - 7:00 PM Registration and/or check-in Friday

This is the perfect time to come pick up your Conference Package/schedule and get yourselves all checked in. We advise all people to get checked in first, then head out to grab some dinner before the evening's festivities.


5:00pm to 7:00pm Special optional presentation


Welcoming the Sabbath/Entering Sacred Space (and Veggie Pot Luck)
In the Jewish tradition Friday night is the beginning of sacred/transformed time. Similarly entering into Poly Living is also a time of transformed consciousness. Participants are invited to participate in a ritual to enter into that sacred space, based on the Kabbalistic ritual to entering the Sabbath. All beliefs welcome. (Location TBA at registration table) After the ritual we will share a vegetarian meal of celebration.


7:00 PM - 11:00 PM
Evening Reception,
Keynote and Social



Welcome, keynote and Reception This is our time to welcome you to the weekend. This is the must see time of the weekend, where you will get to enjoy our announcements, our gifts to you, and a fabulous keynote address by Reid Mihalko. This will also be the time for you to listen from the latest news about Polyamory, Loving More and hear from other key people in our community. So sit back, enjoy our discussion, and experience a chance to mingle with other polyamorous people at the social immediately following.



What happens when Poly becomes mainstream?


For the activists among us, progress for the poly movement has never been fast enough. For those who've been "poly for years," shows like Big Love and the occasional Oprah episode on open marriages -whether "poly" is used or not- reassure us that things are shifting. For the newly poly, posting "In an open relationship" on our Facebook profile reminds us that we are no longer the only stranger in a strange land. And for the monogamous person choosing into a poly relationship, today, more than ever, there are books, workshops and DVDs to help you get your black belt in relationships and increase your odds of survival... No matter where you are on the poly spectrum of experience, what we all have in common is that polyamory is not yet mainstream... Has anyone thought about what happens when it does?

Join Reid Mihalko as he talks candidly about his own relationship journey, his experiences bringing poly to Hollywood's world of reality television, and what he thinks is going to happen to us when polyamory becomes a household word -and what you can do today to help!




Saturday

February 20


9:00 AM - 10:30 AM
Session 1



Partners and Progeny
One of the first questions people ask polyfolk--after “Don’t you get jealous?”--is “But what about the kids?” Well, what ABOUT the kids? How are they--and you--doing? How do you relate to your family and the world at large as a polyamorous parent? Can you be open with your children about your lovestyle? Let’s share our wisdom.
Valerie White


The Rise and Decline of Monogamy in America
Using data from a study of 1100 swingers, anecdotal evidence from the poly community, and accumulated research on the family in the U.S. over the past 40 years this presentation argues that the challenges facing our society in the future can only be met through the legal and social acceptance of non-monogamy in constructing relationships and building families.
Curtis Bergstrand, PhD


Boundaries: Speaking Truth, Meeting Needs, and Releasing Attachments
How many of us say “yes” to things we don’t actually want out of guilt or a fear of losing connection? In many ways, “no” is the most daring and intimate response possible – if I can hear your “no”, I can trust your “yes.” We’ll practice the skills of self-awareness, transparency, and non-attachment, which help us find the space of mutually desired connection that is available with each person.
Sarah Taub and Michael Rios


10:45 AM- 12:15 PM
Session 2



What to Expect when Exploring Poly
You’ve seen the headlines “Polyamory; The Next Romantic Revolution?” and it sounds intriguing or your are ready to jump in and see how the water is. This workshop is designed to answer questions about the ins and outs of polyamory relating, tips for navigating and advice on the rewards and pitfalls you might expect when learning to relate romantically and sexually to more than one person. We will discuss some common misconceptions, needed skills and the importance of building good communication and trust. We will cover language, different relationship configurations and the possible choices in relationships and styles of polyamory. This class is meant as an introduction and guideline for those interested in learning more and looking to explore alternatives to traditional monogamy.
Jesus Garcia and Robyn Trask


Polyamory in Media’s Spotlight
Over the last few years much has happened on the public stage that has the power to affect poly lives in ways both good and bad. More than 200 media events that focus on polyamory or are polyamory-related have been documented. Their sources range from prime-time TV plot lines to articles in campus newspapers. Come see a live demo including websites and video, ask questions and learn more.
Anita Wagner and Alan M


My Body and Me
What do you like about your body? What don’t you like? What’s keeping you from unconditionally loving yourself? In this workshop we’ll explore how we feel about our bodies and how our feelings may keep us from being all we can be to ourselves and in our relationships. In a safe clothing-optional environment we’ll have the opportunity to take some risks and open ourselves to sharing those parts of our bodies that keep us from unconditionally loving ourselves. No one will be admitted once the workshop begins. Everyone will always be at choice as to how they participate and what they share.
Lee Hencen



12:30 PM - 2:00 PM
LUNCH


**Details available during registration**


2:15 PM - 3:45 PM
Session 3



Polyamory from a Minority Perspective
Polyamory is on the rise in the US and the world. As the polyamory community grows why do we still see so few minorities in poly circles? What unique challenges face polyamorist who come from non-white backgrounds? As a community how can we help or get information to African Americans, Asians and Hispanics and should we try? In this facilitated discussion we will explore the unique challenges faced by minorities in regards to polyamory, bisexuality and other alternative life and love styles.
Jesus Garcia and Sean Grahm


Poly Etiquette Within Poly diverse Forms of Poly Relationships
Poly etiquette isn’t about curving your pinky – it’s about way tougher things like how to bring in new loves, how to behave when you return from a date with “shiny new love object,” how to share with a potential partner what you’re talking about when you say “I’m poly.” Just what do poly relationships LOOK like? And how does one figure out how to act within the wide variety of types of relationships that we call “poly?” Sure, poly relationships are all designer relationships, but some patterns and types of relationships seem to be emerging within the poly world. Looking at the benefits and challenges of each helps choose which best meets your needs, communicate more easily what you’re dreaming of creating, and avoid messing things up because of naïve faux pas! This workshop will also give you the opportunity, if you wish, to share a little about your own form of poly, and to volunteer to be part of the presenter’s upcoming book on the subject! Come, learn, and share your dreams!
Mim Chapman


Intimate Exposure
A key skill for living a powerful life is the ability to “show up,” to communicate your truth to others. Using a format called ZEGG Forum (not related to Landmark Forum), the facilitators create a safe, loving container where participants may step in front of the group and share what is going on for them. Profound shifts in consciousness can occur as we reveal or witness what had been hidden.
Sarah Taub and Michael Rios



4:00 PM - 5:30 PM
Session 4



MONO Poly (see attachment): It’s not Just a Game
We will be sharing Practical experiences and advanced techniques for thriving in a relationship with a partner/s whose orientation is different from ours. It will be presented in the context of a popular board game.
Donna M. and Buck L.


Polyamory and Identity

What does it mean to be polyamorous? How is the experience of being the primary partner different from being one of several primaries? What about being just a secondary and having no primary partnership at all? In this presentation we’ll discuss the social, emotional and political implications of claiming a poly identity. Ultimately there are two levels to being poly—the public and the private. The public can be intensely political for those who discuss this lifestyle choice with friends, family, neighbors, co-workers and the media. On the other end of the spectrum is the private: the social, emotional and sexual experience of living polyamorously. Within this is the human tussle of needs to be special, favorite and secure. Much of poly culture is about generating stories and understandings that ensure station, power and access. Finally, there is the burden of disclosure as well as the burden of non-disclosure. Those who are the culture’s spokespeople may feel pressured to claim problem-free personal lives and experience shame and isolation when their own relationships fail. For those who must keep their practice of polyamory private, theirs is the pain of being unknown to their partner(s) families and professional worlds. When they experience relationship challenges, their suffering is compounded the shackles of privacy and discretion.
Dr. Leanna Wolfe



Improving Intimacy in Poly Relationships with Sacred Sexuality
In this hands on workshop we will be using techniques from Taoist, Tantric Sacred Sexuality and Mandela Tantra to improve intimacy and connection in our poly relationships. For many, polyamory is about not just multiple lovers but expanded love, family and community. Improving communication and connection with not only with our partners but their partners as well can help facilitate a sense of inclusiveness for all involved. Working with firebreath and kundalini energy we can increase our connection to one another, whether a sexual partner or not.
Robyn Trask



8:00 PM - 11:00 PM
Saturday Evening Extras



Join us for the Cuddle Party

Saturday Evening Cuddle Party with Cuddle Party Founder Reid Mehalko Cuddle Party is a playful social event designed for adults to explore communication, boundaries and affection. The brainchild of two relationship coaches, Cuddle Party was conceived in Feburary 2004. Since then, Reid Mihalko and Marcia Baczynski have sought to bring clean, safe, welcomed affection to the world through these events.

Cuddle Party events feature:


* An entertaining Welcome Circle that gives you straight info on how to more effectively create what you want in your relationship life
* Introductory exercises to break the ice and get you into the habit of asking for what you want and saying yes and no honestly
* A holistic social environment that attracts fascinating people and provides a wonderful opportunity for connection, learning and growth

Hang out in the Poly Lounge



Sunday
February 21

9:00 AM - 10:30 AM
Session 5



Young, Mainstream, and Polyamorous
People are starting to engage in consensually non-monogamous relationships at a younger age and without the influences of other open-thinking subcultures. This could be either due to the increased public awareness about polyamory or the desire to seek an alternative to monogamy. We will explore the differences between this “next generation” of poly people and their predecessors, and the challenges of building community between the two groups.
Jessica Karels


Sexuality and Aging
Sexuality and Aging: Nobody ever believed that “Old People” had sex! Now as we age, we find that our sexuality continues. What are the issues of positive sexuality, as we grow older? The conveners will share their own experience of continuing sexuality into their 7th and 8th decades and invite other participants to share their stories too. This is another topic our parents never told us about!
Ken Haslam


The One and the Many: A New Approach to Relationships
Our current definitions of relationship models — monogamy and polyamory — make distinctions between whether a person supposedly has one partner or more than one. A model that I am developing suggests that every relationship is based on each partner’s inner relationship to self, and that this is the most significant factor to consider in how they relate to others. Further, all relationships with others are one-on-one relationships, no matter what their apparent style; and these one-on-one relationships, whether sexual or not, whether ‘monogamous’ or ‘polyamorous’, each exist as part of much wider and far-reaching social networks. Interpersonal relationships can support or hinder one’s relationship with oneself to varying degrees. Relationships are either supported by communities where they exist, or not; relationships support community, or not. Our prior dichotomy between relational styles, i.e., ‘monogamous versus polyamorous’, is neither descriptive nor useful at describing how real-life relationships work, since in effect, all relationships have important elements of both concepts. This presentation explores these real-life factors in our contacts with other, and how they relate to our wider social experiences.
Eric Francis



10:45 AM - 12:15 PM
Session 6

Hap-Poly Ever After: Long-Term Poly Partnership
What does committed long-term polyamory look like? What kinds of agreements and relationship structures can thrive and support each partner’s development and growth to make their dreams come true throughout their lifecycles? What have we learned about making this lifestyle work? And what shapes do our households and emotional lives take on, several decades down this path? For folks who want to share what they’ve done and how, or ask questions of those who have, a discussion (along with some roleplaying) of long-term polyamory and poly families with and without children.
Ben Silver


Improve your erotic play with Improv
Do you want to be more sexual playful? Would you like to think more on your feet? /on your back?! Would you like to get over your fear of making mistakes? Let the spirit into your erotic play with improv! Improv is entertaining, energetic, and exciting. Whether you want to improve your foreplay, be better at role play or just have better orgasms this workshop is for you. Interactive with many hands on exercises.
Michelle Z


“How do I tell them about my life and loves?”: Coming out Poly
The answer to this question will vary by your situation and with whom you are sharing. In this session we will explore the concerns you and/or your loves have regarding ‘being known’ or coming out as poly. This is an opportunity to explore our own experiences with speaking to people who don’t practice our loving style and discover what considerations impact our sharing with people who matter to to us. We can explore how these factors influence our lives and love situations . We’ll talk about the conditions that make such opening up favorable for sharing and the motivations for doing so. And what can we polys and those we care about gain from our revelations? Come join the discussion , gain instructive information, listen to others’ experience and wisdom so you can examine your own reservations on this issue. Carol ‘s insights from professionals’ encounters with their clients’ on this issue and the lessons learned for the group’s benefit for this instructive and interactive session.
Carol Morotti-Meeker, MS,MLSP and Jim Fleckenstein


*Workshops and presenters subject to change. The schedule is listed just to be a general guideline and presentations can and often do get moved around last minute.

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