The Newsweek article has stirred up a frenzy of comments and posting on their website because of the July 29 article, Only You. And You. And You.
It is always interesting to me to read the comments after an article in mainstream media on polyamory. There is always a prolific and strong reaction of moralizing and pointing fingers at what terrible perverse people polyamorists are. Many people seem to live with their heads in some other reality of monogamy being the precious and most legitimate relationship. If statistics are even close at a minimum half of the people moralizing have had or are having an affair. Studies show again and again that monogamy is not natural among most animals including humans. Typically they pair bond and then cheat.
Polyamorist choose to be honest, to open to love and connection with more people. What really bothers people about polyamory is not the love but that these are romantic relationship involving sex. These are people having loving SEXUAL relationships. We all love many people, our kids, parents, friends and family, but bring sex into it and people freak. It is really our societies challenge with sex that is at issue. Sex is a wonderful experience of intimacy shared between people that brings them closer. Why is this so challenging?
Most people in polyamory are loving, honest and care immensely about the health and well being of their partners. In monogamy that so many stand up and insist is so much better 60% to 70% of the couplings one or both cheat. They lie, sneak around and put their own and partners health at risk with their deception. This is the reality of modern so called monogamous couples. It is not monogamy at all. Poly people are simply recognizing their needs, wants and desires and are being honest.
I think people get tweaked because it hits too close to home. Most people have had to choose between two people they love because they did not even consider they might have a choice to love both. No wonder so many seem so angry. Flinging insults and making polyamory wrong is a way of coping with unrequited longing. Kind of like the homophobic who is secretly in the closet about their own sexuality.
Personally true monogamy is not in my nature and cheating is against my personal beliefs. I prefer honesty and openness. Monogamy does work great for a few of my friends. Neither form of relationship is better nor more evolved then the other, simply different.