One of the most challenging things for people in polyamorous relationships is finding a balance in their life between relationships and responsibilities. This can be especially challenging for those who have children, demanding careers and/or are activists working toward awareness and tolerance. I often get the question how do you have time for everything? And I find myself asking that question tonight.
Many poly folks find themselves with all of the above challenges and can end up burning out in exhaustion. At times when the question comes up, I will laugh and tell people that heading up Loving More often means I do not have time for loving more. It is funny and ironic and also true. I know many people find this same thing to be true for them.
I believe much of this comes from our heritage and the over the top work ethic of the puritans. One thing I noticed in traveling around the world that people in the US work more hours and are busier than many other cultures. We speak the phrase “I’m busy” as almost a badge of honor or testament to our self importance. We put love, pleasure, fun and the like on the bottom of the list and wonder why our relationships grow apart.
I am on a quest to make time for family, lovers and friends and to balance pleasure with work. I want to take time and breathe in the moments spent with the people I love. Time is precious and life passes quickly. I want to strive to move beyond the “I’m too busy” to a place where love and pleasure are as much a priority as work and activism. After all what are we working for but the freedom to enjoy the pleasure our relationships without judgment.
I am curious do others share this challenge of putting fun and pleasure last, after work, activism and other duties?