We definitely need to be safe, and be tested. But we also need to stop shaming people based upon their disease profile, and considering STD’s to mean that you are “dirty” if you catch one. Even someone with HIV can have a full, active sex life — as long as they take precautions, and are honest with their partners.

By treating STD’s like a cleanliness issue, or like a judgement for a “deviant” lifestyle, we do not prevent their spread. In fact, these antiquated beliefs ENCOURAGE the spread of STD’s by keeping people too ashamed to get tested, and driving underground the sexuality of the unfortunate folks who contract them. If we treated them as a medical issue, and made it clear that even HIV — and certainly not HPV/HSV — is not the end of your sex life, we’d be doing much better.

What about health insurance companies? I would assume that folks who request frequent STD tests would send up red flags to insurance agencies. Does anyone know if and when insurance companies cover STD testing for married people? I’m sure they assume that all marrieds are monogamous…

I’ve only had positive GUM clinic experiences so far, but in the UK GUM clinic Nurses are pretty consistently trained. I’ve not said anything to my GP/personal doctor, as I’m not sure she needs to know and to be honest, I can’t be sure that I won’t be judged.

Has anyone had experience of their relationship status being taken into account during mental health treatment? I recently had a Therapist (as a part of an assessment for a course of therapy) pick over my bisexuality as if it were causing my depression.

Today I went to donate blood, and encountered a woefully uneducated opinion, voiced by the gal taking my information. When I commented on the backwards policy of the Red Cross–which is really coming from the FDA, I’m informed–to systematically discriminate against Gay and Bisexual men, she told me that the reason they did this was because “these guys do things they shouldn’t do, and….” I cut her off, and said “That’s bullshit.” I wish I’d had the presence of mind to do a better job of educating, and had said “HIV does not discriminate based on sexual orientation, gender, or sexual preference. And neither should the Red Cross. The practices the Red Cross still uses are outdated by world standards, and were put in place many years ago when we knew less than we do now. We have much better tests these days. There is no longer a good reason to systematically bar healthy gay and bisexual men from donating blood. Perhaps if the Red Cross were to stop doing so, there’d be less of a shortage in the Bay Area, hm?”

Slut shaming and sexual orientation shaming are alive and unfortunately far too well in our culture. And the result is that many people fail to donate blood, get needed procedures, or worse yet, fail to know things like their own testing status, because of the fear that they’ll encounter this sort of ignorance from the people who are supposedly there to help.

Guess in my copious spare time, I should write a letter or call my local Red Cross office tomorrow, to let them know that they need better education of their phlebotomists.